the comparison hole

July 15, 2015

The Facebook scroll.  The Instagram gander.  

 

We are in an age where sharing your experiences and your views with the world is as easy as clicking 2-3 buttons on your phone. It’s absolutely incredible, and it is only getting more and more advanced.  

 

However, sometimes social media can touch on something else that I battle…my Comparison Hole.  

 

I have a confession to make.  

I have been comparing myself to others all of my life.

 

I call it the Comparison Hole because I can feel the shift when I start to compare myself to others.  It feels like a downward spiral into sadness and disappointment.  When I slip into the Comparison Hole I always land feeling completely depleted of energy, anxious, and extremely depressed.

 

I find this happens when I am mindlessly scrolling on Facebook.  I see an artist friend succeding in their business or engagement photos where the couple looks Happy and in Love and BAM!

 

I fall down the Comparison Hole.

 

I even fall into the Comparison Hole when I am walking down the street and I notice people around me who I perceive is more put together than I.

 

I start to compare my accomplishments with theirs. I start to make up elaborate stories of how fabulous and wonderful everyone else’s lives are, and how mine is so not as fabulous and wonderful.   

 

My friends, this is not pretty and certainly not Self Loving.  

 

So, I became Curious.  I got quiet and noticed what I was truly saying to myself while I was busy comparing my life with the people around me.  And I came upon three, painful and common limiting beliefs.

 

I am not enough

I am not deserving

There is not enough for me

 

Whoa.  

 

“I am not enough” and “I am not deserving” come from a deep fear that many of us carry - that we are unloveable.  

 

“There is not enough for me” comes from a deep fear that the world only provides Happiness, Love, and Fulfilment to a chosen few.  

 

But let me tell you what I discovered....

 

NONE OF THESE BELIEFS ARE TRUE.

 

Who knows when we developed these beliefs, but how dare we say that we are not enough, undeserving, unlovable, and unspecial?

 

You are a unique, incredible human being.  What you give the world is precious..because it comes from YOU.  No one in the world is like you and you are enough to give to this world.  You are exactly where you need to be. You are enough to be here.  

 

You deserve all of the Happiness, all of the Success, all of the Love that the world and the people around you can give.  And there is plenty to go around.  We all have the right for these things and that’s that.  

 

So how do I crawl out of my Comparison Hole?

 

I Become Mindful and Aware

  • As soon as I feel the energy shift, I get into action mode. I immediately stop the Facebook scroll, take a stretch, and put my attention on a task that makes me feel good.

 

I Self Love

  • I place my hand on my heart and repeat the mantra I am enough, I am deserving, and there is plenty for me!!

 

I Practice Gratitude

  • I bless the person who is sharing their experiences and thank them for reminding me what I desire, and that I shall achieve.

 

How about you?  What do you do to stop comparing yourself with others?  Share with us!

 




 

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Open Heart Searchery © 2015 by Aimée Cucchiaro 

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